Hat is conflict?

Conflict is any situation where your concern or a desire differs from another’s, Many times managing conflicts is a requirement not an option such as when working with a team or working as self-employed or managing relations who you love the most.

It is much easier to resolve conflicts as soon as you start to see the early signs of conflicting behavior, this would work to prevent habit of conflicting behavior. If you ignore unacceptable or unreasonable behavior in people or employees you are dealing with, then problems will certainly escalate until the disciplinary process has to be used or a formal grievance is lodged. However, by which time it may be much harder to achieve successful resolution.

Following are typical responses to disagreements

  • Get angry, criticize, call names, use sarcasm or other aggressive behaviour, try run down people
  • Continue to persuade long after the issue is deadlocked
  • Deny or pretend that everything is okay- no conflict exist
  • Get mad inside but give the other the silent treatment
  • Withdraw because you don’t like to argue
  • Be submissive

Common Myths or Misconceptions

  • Harmony is normal or conflict is abnormal
  • Conflict is the result of personality differences
  • Conflict and disagreements are the same

You need to understand that conflicts are natural and take place every now and then in every relationship, since this is something human beings cannot avoid so better we learn to manage them effectively. Conflict is like a sign of a need for change and an opportunity for change, understanding and revolution.

Conflict occurs as a result of following…

  • Lack of communication
  • Value conflicts from different attitudes beliefs and expectations
  • Lack of effective leadership or decision-making
  • Discrepancies in role performances and expectations
  • Low productivity
  • Change takes place
  • Unresolved prior conflicts

Managing conflict at workplace or at personal level is an integral part of good people management. Good communication, offering ongoing feedback and effective development coaching at workplace facilitates good work delivery and manage performance.

Confrontation readiness index

  • Is it really worth the efforts?
  • Is it other person important to me?
  • Will things improve by talking about it?
  • Do I have the time?
  • Is the time and place right?

Analysing the cause helps to resolve it soon. Looking at things such as causes, who we are angry with, what we are afraid of losing. If we view the issues closely and see the both side of the story help makes the issue more manageable.

Strategies for dealing with disagreement and conflict

  • Competing Style
  • Collaboration Style
  • Avoidance Style
  • Accommodating Style
  • Compromise Style

Competing Style

  • I win, You lose
  • My way or the highway
  • Power, force, coercion
  • Pulling rank

Collaboration style

  • I win, you win
  • Synergistic
  • Values goals of all parties
  • Two heads are better than one

Avoidance Style

  • Lack of actual presence
  • Remote when there

Accommodating Style

  • It would be my pleasure
  • Concern for relationship above all
  • Human beings are fragile
  • Avoid conflict and please others

Compromise Style

  • Let’s make a deal
  • Negotiated resolution
  • Concessions
  • You give X, I will give Y
  • May remain opponents

Following are creative conflicts rule

  • Agree that now is a good time
  • The goal is to have deeper understanding not I win you lose
  • Discuss the specific issue or specific behaviour, not the person, personality or motivation
  • Stay in the present
  • Provide face saving mechanisms
  • When you have come to terms, put the disagreement away

Conflict Situation exercise
Conflict styles

  • Competing style (I win, you lose)
  • Collaboration style ( I win, you win)
  • Avoidance style( I lose, you lose)
  • Accommodating style(I lose, you win)
  • Compromise style ( I win a little, You win a little)

Conflict summary

  • Incompatible interests or goals
  • Incomplete understanding
  • Feeling threatened
  • Hidden personal feelings

Creative Conflict management

  • Recognize and acknowledge
  • Open communication
  • Active listening
  • Be objective-not emotional
  • Negotiate when possible
  • Make adjustments
  • Use all conflict management styles
  • Follow through

You must need to respect all opinions while listening or managing conflicts. Each of us has different mind-sets and view point on things in life based on various experiences and awareness. Therefore, seeking exact righteous in everyone could work as trap, therefore agree to disagree is something we must need to practise in daily lives. Since if we all were of same race, colour, opinions and would do the same thing, then life would have been too boring. We human beings are diverse by all means and that’s the beauty of life which excites us to get along with people around.

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